77. The World’s Best Nap
reddit.com / Via huffingtonpost.co.uk
Why It Matters: Because if we promise always to be restless, we will one day change into the thing we always wanted to be.
The Most Delicious Burger
Why It Matters: Because, as Oscar Wilde is known to have said, “Between cats and burgers there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
The Box of Delights
Why It Matters: Because of the surprisingly earnest assurance this pair has that being in a filing crate together is the most natural and unremarkable thing they could possibly be doing.
The Shadow Fighter
Why It Matters: A lot of cat philosophers have speculated that the world we experience is little more than shadows cast by the light of an unimaginably brighter reality, but up until this kitten, no one had ever really bothered to test the theory.
Why It Matters: Because the only thing more important than being true to yourself is being as fabulous as possible while you’re at it.
Why It Matters: Because you should never let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Reddit: torode reddit.com / Via i.imgur.com
Why It Matters: Because if you have a face this fluffy, you need to spend a lot of time quietly reflecting on it.
The Simple Pleasure
Why It Matters: Because, to paraphrase Yeats, “Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply a vacuum cleaner on our heads. We are happy when we have a vacuum cleaner on our heads.”
The Surprise Attack
Why It Matters: Because no matter how soft and bright-eyed it seems at the time, our youth will eventually betray us.
The Impending Disaster
Why It Matters: Because houseplants deserve better than this, frankly, but fate takes us all prisoner.
Why It Matters: Because the real villain of this piece is not the weather, but the heartless genius who saw that face and stopped to take a picture.
The Feather Duster
Why It Matters: Because if we can’t persevere in the face of the physically impossible, what can we persevere in the face of?
The Yogurt Dilemma
Why It Matters: Because, to this day, along with the Riemann Hypothesis and the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture, the Yogurt Dilemma has never been solved.
The “I’ll Protect You”
Why It Matters: Because no act of aggression is as fierce or as insuppressible as a true act of protection.
Why It Matters: Because you are the one who is absurd and illogical, and these cats are frankly surprised that you would deign to judge them.
The Little Red Riding Hood
Noel Celis /AFP / Getty Images / Via nationalpost.tumblr.com
Why It Matters: Because the wolf, the wolf, the wolf, was hiding inside our very souls all along.
Why It Matters: Because no matter how you choose to present yourself in life, people will respect you if you have an entourage.
46. The Meeting
Why It Matters: Because this is the first ever recorded instance of a baby under 2 years old saying, “Oh, you!”
The Harry Potter
Why It Matters: Because wizarding always matters, but cat wizarding matters double.
The Foul Play
Why It Matters: Or is it The Foreplay? Honestly, it can be tough to tell sometimes.
Why It Matters: Because there are some things so shameful that even your cat can’t unsee them.
The Morning Routine
Why It Matters: Primarily because a man wears a suit, and not the other way around, which is a way of saying that we should never let our jobs define us, or, as this cat puts it: “I prefer, infinitely, to be naked.”
The Weight Watcher
Why It Matters: Because, when the time comes for our souls to be weighed on the great cosmic scales of justice, we will have no choice but to clutch the toilet and look concerned.
Why It Matters: Honestly, because a world in which it is sometimes the case that children learn to read by reading to shelter cats is a world that is quite possibly worth keeping around.
Why It Matters: Because, as the great American poet Iggy Pop says of this picture:
We’ll be the passenger
We’ll ride through the city tonight
We’ll see the city’s ripped backsides
We’ll see the bright and hollow sky
We’ll see the stars that shine so bright
Stars made for us tonight
Which is both profound and true, even though the ride is going to be a fairly short one with a potentially disastrous ending.
Why It Matters: Because it is an awful lot harder than you might imagine to pull off this level of authority and gravitas while wearing a Chinese food delivery box on your head.
The Loyal Friend 2
Why It Matters: Because we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone — we find it with another.
The Protective Boyfriend
Why It Matters: Because, while most people tire very quickly of a “tough guy” act, no one will ever get tired of that furry little face, or the fact that a cat has a girlfriend in the first place.
Why It Matters: Because if you work hard, you will achieve your dreams. If those dreams are to literally be the captain of a box, that’s on you.
The Chris Hansen
Why It Matters: Because when a cat like this says, “Why don’t you have a seat over there?” people listen.
Why It Matters: Not, as you might think, because the tabby is literally ascending into heaven, but because of the fact that the event has only inspired an at best tepid curiosity in his disciple.
The Bus Driver
Why It Matters: Because we are all driven by different impulses, but those of us who are driven by a blue cardboard cat bus are clearly going places.
Why It Matters: Because of the famous passage in Isaiah that I am fairly sure says something like, “The kitten also shall dwell with the lambe, and that is literally all you need to know about anything.”
The Family Photo
Why It Matters: Because family always matters.
Filing Cabinet Cat
Why It Matters: Because now that you have seen this picture, for the rest of your life you will check under “C” every time you open a filing cabinet. Just in case.
The Sweater Antagonist
Why It Matters: Because, when life’s sweaters assail us with their wooly tyranny, we have no choice but to stand up, raise our claws, and fight.
Happy Birthday Dennis
Why It Matters: Because any of us would agree that no humiliation is too great, no misery too unendurable if it means that our efforts will make Dennis’s birthday even one iota happier.
The Kitten Pushing an Even Smaller Kitten in a Tiny Shopping Cart
Richard Austin / Rex / Rex USA
Why It Matters: Because — and bear with me here — we are all but tiny kittens in the tiny shopping cart that is our path to righteousness, and the larger kitten that is Perseverance … oh, forget it. It’s because of how insanely adorable these cats are, OK?
Friends in the Car Seat
Why It Matters: Because if you look at this picture long enough, your heart will explode.
Why It Matters: Because it is written that in the time of our direst need, when the world truly yearns for a leader to guide us out of the darkness, we will find not the leader we want, nor even the leader we expect, but a cat wearing a diaper on his head like a helmet and that will be basically fine.
The Fence Licker
Why It Matters: Because we should not stand idly by when someone tries to put a fence between us and those we love. Technically, we probably shouldn’t just sit there and lick that fence either, but that is beside the point.
The “I’m Having a Bad Time” Cat
Why It Matters: Because of the gentle reminder that our perch upon the railings of life is fragile, and also because WE TOLD YOU THAT WE DIDN’T WANT TO GO OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The Sudden Realization
Via 1. youtube.com
Why It Matters: Cat scholars dispute whether this is a beautiful reference to the moment when Pericles, Prince of Tyre, realized that he would set sail one more time to find his lost daughter Marina, or a stark depiction of the joyless acquisitiveness that besets the modern Cats of Wall Street, but most cat academics agree that this little guy is as cute as a button.
The Existential Birthday
Why It Matters: “Quid est enim tempus?” asks Augustine of Hippo. “Quis hoc facile breuiterque explicauerit?” “What is time? And who can explain it?” What most people don’t realize is that Augustine actually asked this at his birthday party and pretty much bummed everyone out.
The Baby and the Swing
Why It Matters: Because when all is said and done on the other side of an infinite expanse of time, if even one of those moments was a cat sitting with a baby in a swing, there is a chance that everything is going to be all right.